What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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