Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Everybody love food when they are hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops