What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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