Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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why did the boy die because he got ran over by a tractor

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I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops