Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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womens rights.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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