A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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