Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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