What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -15

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock knock OCD

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops