Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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