Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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