What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

the WNBA.

This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

why does the man appear fat he is

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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