Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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