A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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My cat just died.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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