Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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knock knock who's there boo Jenny had a heart attack due to the scare, she was taken to hospital and died

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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Humpty the extreme sized grenade fell off the wall. The universe is now in little pathetic bits.

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Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A catfish could never pass the LSAT because it is unable to perform high-level critical thinking.

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1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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