Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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