A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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womens rights.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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