Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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