Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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