A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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