Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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