How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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