What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Indians

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops