Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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