Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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