A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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Take part of what?

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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how do you win a game try your best

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops