What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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miha kako si?

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops