What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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