your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

A chicken walked into the bar...

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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