How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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guess what? bannanas

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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