What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her she is a burnette.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If you see a person falling down your balcony, Say cya later!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops