What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops