Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

Roses are red, Violets are purple.

What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

NEVER

What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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