What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Yes

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Tunechi

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops