When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops