yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops