Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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I'm Coming

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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i'm hard

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops