I'm Polish.

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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