why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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