A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops