Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Knock knock Come in

42

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

BIG MAC'S

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

I think everybody should have a penis.

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...