why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Knock Knock.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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knock knock Goodbye

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops