knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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school homewrok

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Potassium? K.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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