Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops