What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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