An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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