Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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a man makes a bad joke

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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