An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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A russian gives away vodka.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Anyone can post anything.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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