Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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