A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

There was a chicken. It squarked.

Stop. Seriously stop.

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

dat shoe shine tho

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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