What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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