Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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