My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why did Hitler Kill his self Answer- He got a gas bill By Lewis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops