Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops