Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops