what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Pain Olympics.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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autistic kids rock

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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