A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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what did Susie, the girl with no arms, say after she fell off the swing? nothing, she was killed on impact.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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PS3 has the exerrent technorogy and finersse to make excerrent gaming such as... ...ITS RIDGE RACER! RIIIIIIIIIDGE RACEEEEEEEEEEEER!

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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