why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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