Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...