A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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