An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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A storm be brewin!

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

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What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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