What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Deez nuts Ha goteem

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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Your're racist.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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