Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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