Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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womens rights.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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