Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Maths.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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how do you win a game try your best

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops