What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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