Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Flowers are colors Love me

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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