What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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