Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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whats green and lives in the water

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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