Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

You know what's funny? You got AIDs

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

like most people my age. im 27

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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