how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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why wuz 6 afraid of 7 7 had a gun

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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ugvvvvvv

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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