Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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FUCK YOU

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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