Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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