what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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