What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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42

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Knock knock Come in

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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BIG MAC'S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops