"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What's blue? The sky.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops