There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Hello

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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