What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Everybody love food when they are hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops