What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Knock Knock Come in

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops