Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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