What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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