What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops