What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Golf.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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