I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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