How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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jews

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops