A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Pickle

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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