Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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