Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

yolo your orange looks orange

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

a

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...