Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops