Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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