Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than Christmas alone? Pedophiles.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops