Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Hey Shea

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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