A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops