An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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THEN WHO WAS FONE?

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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