Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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