What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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Jimmy Saville

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops