Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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