what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

Paper or plastic? Yes...

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

Communism hehe xd

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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