A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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