Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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