What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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What do u call a beaner when he stands up 4 foot nothing

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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