This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

What colour is a black man in a freezer black

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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