"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's children? No. They look just like her.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops