A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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