Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

What did John name his dog? Doggy

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Anti-jokes are funny.

knock knock go away

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

like most people my age. im 27

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...