Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Death by kayak

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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