person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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a man walks in to a night club he can not danse so he just wachis pepol

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

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What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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