A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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