When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops