How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yellow People !!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock [Opens Door]

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops