Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Everything.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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