Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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