why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

The diamond one below is hilarious.

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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