I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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