How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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NEVER

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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my penis

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What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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