mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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