Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops