HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops