what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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I Have a Black Friend

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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