how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Donald Trump

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops