ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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