Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Manchester City

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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