Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops