A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops