Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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