Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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