A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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