There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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