Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops