What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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