What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops