A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hey hey apple

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops