where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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autistic kids rock

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Cameron is a r e t a r d

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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