A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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Two Irish men walk in to a bar. Or maybe it was three. It's actually quite a common occurrence here in Dublin.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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9/11 my birthday

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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