What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops