What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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