A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops