What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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womens rights

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Why does Michael J Fox have such good handwriting? Through years of hardwork, perseverance, and rehabilitation.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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