What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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9/11 my birthday

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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i'm hard

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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every knight i see an owl at window

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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