A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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