How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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AIDS

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Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Dumb

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops