How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

ask me if i am a tree. no.

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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