How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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