- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops