Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops