How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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