Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

american idol

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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