my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops