Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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