So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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bangers and mash?

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops