What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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