What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

Guess what? I like trains.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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