what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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To be, or not to be. That is not the question. The question is, what time is it?

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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robin, get in the car.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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