Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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