Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

thumb_up thumb_down

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

thumb_up thumb_down

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

thumb_up thumb_down

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down

race-car = rac-ecar

thumb_up thumb_down

An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops