How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

thumb_up thumb_down +36

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why....... Because.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call someone who's black? A person you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Ashley run out of juice in her house? Because she drank it all!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's 9 +10 19

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops