how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joseph Kony. Give me your children.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Chocolate rain Awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what is white and sticky? glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +36

im jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The size of Idris Elba's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops