A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

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What is long, erect, and 12 inches long? A ruler.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

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A person with OCD walked into a abr.

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One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

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This joke isnt funny.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

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A. Knock-knock. B. Who's there? A. Hey, your doorbell's broken.

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gays

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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