If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Rob Bell

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A person walks into a store. He goes to a worker an asks "were is the potatos?" . The worker says, there on that shelf.

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What do you call a Black Comedian? Funny, You Racist.

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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there are two hicks named Billy Bob and Joe. Billy Bob decides to go to college so he goes to sign up for classes. The Dean of the school decides to help him out and tells him he will be taking math, writing, and logic. Billy Bob is okay with the math and writing but then asks "what the hell is logic?" The Dean thinks for a moment and then says "Okay for example, do you have a weedwacker?" Billy Bob says "yeah i got a weed wacker" so then Dean says "So that probably means you have a yard." Billy Bob goes "yeah i got a yard" So the Dean says "so if youve got a yard you've probably got a house." Billy Bob goes "hell ya i got a house!" The Dean says "and if youve got a house that probably means you've got a wife." Billy Bob goes "ya! i got a wife" so the Dean says "If you have a wife then that means you are heterosexual" and Billy Bob goes "of course im heterosexual!" So the Dean goes "See Billy Bob, thats logic." Amazed by this, Billy Bob goes back to Joe and starts to tell him about his classes. He explains he will be taking math, writing and logic. Joe is confused so he asked Billy Bob "what the hell is logic!?" Billy Bob thinks for a moment and goes "okay how can i explain this....okay joe, do you have a weed wacker?" and Joe responds "no Billy Bob i dont got a week wacker..." Billy Bob: "I KNEW YOU WAS A HOMOSEXUAL!"

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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