Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +103

What's green and goes "Kablowie!"? Probably nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

...Jack Vale

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I dislike old people.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

That's what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops