Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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A man from florida and a woman from florida go to a restaurant, which isnt very popular.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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What's 9 +10 19

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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