Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? Most people are ignorant of the global sex slave trafficking industry and apathetic about global hunger.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

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>>-------------[Knee]---------->>>

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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DANA

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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Jews for Jesus

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What do you call a jew in a room full of gold? I highly improbable scenario in which the circumstances of how this "man" seemingly got into a gold room are unexplained.

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What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops