son, you're adopted.

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

You're so straight!

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

a banana

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

What's big? Jupiter.

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

the cow goes moo

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...