Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

Obama

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

Why Because

What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

What did the boy get from Penn State University? A College Degree

A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

Hello

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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