One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

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i went to have a wank over anime as well yesterday, the i realised i dont have a penis. -adam fantuzzi

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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What did the convicted child molester say to the little girl? Nothing, they cut his tongue out in prison.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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N e one else find the girl in the cellar from the new evil dead creepy ? Like shes some real demon being used by the movie industry to scare people? (serious qestion)

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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Why did Little Jimmy never make it in the NBA? Because he died at age 6.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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whats the diffference between pizza and a jew? burning a pizza makes me sad, burning a jew is worthy of a party!

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Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Duck Season" Elmer: "Wabbit Season" Buggs: "Wabbit Season" Elmer: Bang

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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