Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "you sir are gay!" The gay man says, "I take offense to that!" The bartender then replies "how may I help you."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Go away still nothing to see

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops