Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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