How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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