Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops