I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops