what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Half life 3 confirmed

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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