Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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