A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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