Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Your big dick.

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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