Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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A dancer walks into a barre

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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