Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops