when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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