why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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