Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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