If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Knock Knock Come in

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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