A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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your so fat. your fat!

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What happend to the girl in the corner? Idk that's why I asked!! :P

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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