What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What's the difference between Mel Gibson and a pineapple? Well at a molecular level, not much because both are made up of atoms.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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a man checks his mypsace

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Knock knock, COME IN!

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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