What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops