A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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