Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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