Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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www.hurr-durr.com

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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