Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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civil rights

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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