What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Pain Olympics.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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My cat just died.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops