Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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