There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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HELLO EVERYONE

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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