knock,knock you suck

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A man did not like this site

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops