A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

Killing your friend as a joke.

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

kkkk

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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