How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Donald Trump

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops