why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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