Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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