what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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Knock knock knock OCD

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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jews

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops