What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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