You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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woman's rights

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because her family lived in the countryside and her family's income was very far below average and in the time of her miraculous breakthrough, automobiles were for the wealthy families and obviously her family was not wealthy. She wouldn't have been able to drive even if she wasn't blind or def. The economy pretty much hated her and her family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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