What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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