How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So FDR walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops