Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What do you call someone who doesn't have a soul? A ginger

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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FUCK YOU

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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