Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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