A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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