Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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