What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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