Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Charlie Sheen

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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drugs.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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