Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +26

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops