A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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