why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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