What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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