Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops