A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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