guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

you gay?

A miserable man committed suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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