What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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autistic kids rock

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops