What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Im taking a shit right now.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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