April showers bring... tornadoes that kill families

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

thumb_up thumb_down +5

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down +5

3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops