Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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