What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

I put my baby in a microwave.

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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