How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

Knock Knock [Opens Door]

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

Go away still nothing to see

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

Yellow People !!

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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