There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Tunechi

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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I? Everett

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops