A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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