What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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