If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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How old are you? 7

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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