What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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womens rights.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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