Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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