What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

bangers and mash?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops