A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Do you play piano? No

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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What's just not right? Left

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a man was shot.... he died

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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