Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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