whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Where's the soap?

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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