I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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Why? Because.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Read a Book.

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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