Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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pull my finger (farts)

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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