Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops