Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops