Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down -13

John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops