I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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