What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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NEVER

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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