Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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A black man walks into a bar. The barman says 'We don't serve your kind here'. The man leaves and goes to a nearby bar that doesn't have racist staff.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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