Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops