Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops