What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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You have friends

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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Your Mom

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In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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