A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...