How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

poopy is poopy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A women left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops