If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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