What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Communism hehe xd

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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