Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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time to spruce up!

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops