What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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