Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Men's rights

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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