What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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yolo your orange looks orange

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Lololol

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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