YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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