If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Burp

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops