What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Katniss: Don't worry Prim, your not getting picked for the reaping this year! Effie: First Tribute, Primrose Everden! Katniss: Oh sh*t.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down -22

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops