Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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