what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

thumb_up thumb_down +1

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

thumb_up thumb_down +1

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops