A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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