What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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