Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Where's the soap?

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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