Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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What did the Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops