I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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a chicken walks into a bar and gets drunk. the locals then proceed to tell the police because the chicken was harrassing people after he got drunk

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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