Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Potassium? K.

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69.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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