what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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