How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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All of these jokes are about white people

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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