Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My cat just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is green and is not grass A frogg

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops