"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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your mom.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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