Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A women left the kitchen.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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