whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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star wars kid

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops