your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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Ryan Holden is a faggot.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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roses are red turtles are random. cancer

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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