What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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