what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops