Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops