How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops