Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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