How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops