Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops