Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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