Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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I am a mime

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops