roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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jews

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops