Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Why was the black man out of a job? because he was recently laid off and had not found any job offerings that he would be interested in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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