How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops