Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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