Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats worse then 15 missed calls from your mom?, The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Jew walks into Macy's

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, It is also the material Aodhan's house is made from.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -29

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops