Obama

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead How did the second koala fall out of the tree? it was hit by the first one how did the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game and jumped off

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: It didn't do it for any good reason,chickens are mindless and do random things,like crossing the road

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

what did the black kid get for christmas? I dont know....whatever he wrote on his wishlist.

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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