What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops