Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops