What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Where's my baby??

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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