Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life" life sentence: a prison term lasting as long as the prisoner lives; "he got life for killing the guard"

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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