Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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