What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A pope meets another one

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The diamond one below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hers a joke... japanese people

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops