What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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