I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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