guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man checks his mypsace

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops