Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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How you know when dislextic

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Take part of what?

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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