Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q: You know why the floor is so clean? A: Because the janitor puts a lot of hard work into it.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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