What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Gus's mom

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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