Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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