Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Gus's mom

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops