Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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