What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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