John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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the economy.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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