Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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