why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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