Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Hats better than a stick? A stone

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Death by kayak

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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