what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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