Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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haha

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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