Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops