What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

Why did the chicken cross the road...

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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