Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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