what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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