Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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