How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops