An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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A blonde dies Lololol

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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