Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops