A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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