Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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