Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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