Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My Nan, that is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

bangers and mash?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops