Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops