A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Poop

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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