Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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