yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops