A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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My Nan, that is all.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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