If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops