Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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