I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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Manchester City

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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