What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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