How did the man die? He was killed alive.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

What city likes baseball the most? New York

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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