How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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