Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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