If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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