A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops