what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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