Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Jack Stevens

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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