Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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