Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops