A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops