your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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