A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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