A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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woman's rights

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Yes

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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