How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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