Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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