Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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How High is a Chinese man

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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