How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops