Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A blonde dies Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops