Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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