A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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How did the guy survive the plane crash? He didnt, He died like everybody else.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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