How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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