Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops