What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Charlie Sheen

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops