I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

What do you call an amazing person Good

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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