Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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