Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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