What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar. They were all lawyers out on lunch break and happened to walk into the same building. They laughed about the coincidence over the a drink

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

The chickens have become self-aware!

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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