What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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