A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops