why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops