A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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A Mexican got stopped by the police. Turns out it was a mistake and the man lived a happy life in America

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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a jew walks out of a furnace

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Kitana vs Shao Kahn. Kitana: HIAHIAHIAHIA...etc Kahn: You weak pathetic whor... OARGH! Kahn: FINISH ME!!! Kitana: Dad? Again? Okay the last time then... Kahn: I just addopted you you FUC... Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh Oargh... OOF!! OFF!! OFF!! OFF! Kitana: *slurp okay no more for you I am uh... full, seriously, Ill explode or some other Fatality... Woody Allenality... Kahn: Kontinue? (press start to kontinue free play mode)

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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