What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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the bible

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Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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