When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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like most people my age. im 27

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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