Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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What colour is a black man in a freezer black

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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