A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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