Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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How does santa deliver presents? He doesn't, because he's not real!

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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A man walks into a bar, then he leaves and goes home

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops