A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops