Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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An anti-joke

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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