A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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