Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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