What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

Christ is a conspiracy

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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