Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops