Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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