What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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What's just not right? Left

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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