How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops