What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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