Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops