Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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