What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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like most people my age. im 27

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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