Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops