Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

whats long and black? a baton

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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