What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

You know whats annoying? Steve

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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