how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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