Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why did the blonde get a tattoo of her adress on her arm? She never wanted to forget her great childhood at her family home, and she hoped that she would come back some day.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What is the name of the car? What

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops