A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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