Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops