What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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