What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

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How do we stop world hunger? We must first ask ourselves: why don't people eat?

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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