Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops