A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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woman's rights

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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