Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops