what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Knock Knock [Opens Door]

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Go away still nothing to see

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Yellow People !!

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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