the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let the chickens out?!

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops