What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Neither have I

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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