Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Please ignore this statement.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Jesus Christ

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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