What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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