- Anti Joke

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

Anyone can post anything.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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