Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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