There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Click here for free sandwich.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops