Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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try slamming a revolving door

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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To mama so old, she might die soon.

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Lololol

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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