Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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I named my son ps2 controller

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Diarrhea

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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