A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Neither have I

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops