What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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Dumb

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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