What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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42

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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