Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops