What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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