Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops