What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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