Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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