A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

thumb_up thumb_down -53

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops