Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

It's likely that very few people will read this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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