In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the black women name her child jamaal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops