Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops