My mom fell on our cat and it died.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, some dude ran it over.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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Hi rebecca , its me that guy over there. purple moneky blue dishwasher. aka JUMANJIIII

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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