Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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men's rights activists

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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The global news

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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