How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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