Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

25

4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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