How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops