What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops