Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

antijoke is the best website.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

What's better than a stick? A stone

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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