Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops