Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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