how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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