A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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A man with two broken legs walks into a bar.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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