Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Obama = ebola

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops