- Anti Joke

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

Burp

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler