- Anti Joke

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

what did the black women name her child jamaal

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

One, two, three, four and five

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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