Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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rose are red so is u want to know why because i shot her

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops