How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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9/11

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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