why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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