What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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How do you confuse a bus driver? Go invisible and throw bananas at him

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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