Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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A house comes around the corner.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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