What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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womens rights.

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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