Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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