Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Women's Rights

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops