Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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