What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

A lot eh?

whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

Justin Beiber is a good singer

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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