Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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Dwarf Shortage

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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what did the black women name her child jamaal

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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