Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Q: Why does it snow in Canada and not in Mexico? A: Because Canada is far from the equator and Mexico isn't.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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