So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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