What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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whats black and strange a paki

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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