What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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