What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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