A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Your big dick.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops