5 Italian guys from Long Island

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9/11 my birthday

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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