There were two men 1 says "hey stupid" and the other man says "Yeah"

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

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Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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He--Hey guys

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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