A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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time to spruce up!

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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