A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Tony Romo

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a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops