what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yesterday, I was assasinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

thumb_up thumb_down -15

3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops