Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Q: What do you get when you throw a piece of bread in the oven? A: 6 million Jews

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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