OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Q: Why did the son of the dad who went fishing with him die? A: Well, he was either eaten by a shark or drowned while being the bait before that.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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