Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a person who can differentiate an anti-joke from a joke and one who cannot? Other than being able to tell the difference between the two types of humour, it is impossible to tell, as no further information is given.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops