A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops