What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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what did the dog say to the cat? bark what did the cat say to the dog? nothing it ran away

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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