How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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