A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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my ilkshake brings all the boys in the yard. and the local health inspector's like , have you got a permit to be selling dairy beverages from a home based business?

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Why is nate asian? no one knows neither of his parents appear to be of asian desent

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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