roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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42

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Knock knock Come in

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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