What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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