How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops