I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops