Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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13 =B you just learned something

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops