Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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My mom

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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