Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

bangers and mash?

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

My Nan, that is all.

Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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