Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

Why did the fish fly It didn't

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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