A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops