How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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