What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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9

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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sadf

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops