What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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A man did not like this site

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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