Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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what is the difference between a white woman and a black woman.. i raped the black one

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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