Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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rarw

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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my penis

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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