Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

anti jokes are really funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I C U P White stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +5

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

thumb_up thumb_down +5

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar and falls.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops