How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops