What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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