How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops