An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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