A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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