Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Lololol

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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